networking 101. how to do it when it feels hard and how it can support you in your career.

Networking is a funny thing. People fall into two camps with it: those who cannot bear the thought of it, and those who’ll do it even if they don’t enjoy it.

I fall into the latter camp. I’m naturally an introvert, I prefer meeting people in more intimate settings and where I can chat in some depth with a bit less pressure.

In one of the roles I held, supporting a Chair, I realised business development was a huge part of my job that was nowhere to be seen on my position description.

That Chair was regarded a “rainmaker” in the organisation. They were responsible for leveraging their own network to win business and find leads for the organisation. Their network was their value. It quickly became quickly apparent to me that there was an opportunity for me to support their efforts through leveraging my deep career network also. And that doing this was going to have me regarded as talent and not a resource in that organisation.

I learned to get out of my comfort zone and find a way through the general anxiety I felt having to connect quickly with strangers at events or meetings. Here are some of the dos and don’t I learned and found to be effective when networking.

Conversation starters.

Ask people about themselves - it’s the easiest way to get a conversation started.

• What development have they been doing?

• What's the culture like for assistants in their org?

• What's post pandemic life like in their org - what's changed?

• What's the most valuable networking event they've been to, other than this one?

• Is there a problem they're trying to solve that you can help with?

• Is there a problem you're trying to solve that you'd like a POV for?

• Ask them about what's happening in their industry/sector right now

• Share what you're hoping to get from the event

do

• Rip the bandaid off as soon as you get there. Talk to someone you don't know

• Find someone who is alone, greet them and start a conversation

• Do some research before the event: what's it all about, who are the hosts

• Thank the hosts for having you. Social posts are usually appreciated to help them with their marketing

• Be on time

• If you can't make it once you've accepted, offer to transfer for your invitation so there isn't a spare seat. The host may decline but you've offered support

• Listen actively. You never know where people will be helpful in future

• Be kind - be the person who connects others if you see someone struggling

Don’t

• Be a no show. If you’ve hosted any kind of event you KNOW how much effort goes into planning. No shows create wasted time and budget. Event karma is A Thing so at the very least, decline if you can't make it

• Become the person who starts passing around food / helping out with the event for something to do You're hiding and I see you - get back out there!

• Don't stick with only one group or person. Mingle

• Freeze someone out who has tried to join your group - be welcoming - even if it disrupts an awesome conversation. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated when you’re putting yourself out there

leverage the opportunity

• Exchange contact details or connect on LinkedIn. Share a brief “great to meet you” a day or two later while the connection is still fresh. Share what you enjoyed about meeting and how you might be able to support each other in future

• Make plans to have a coffee or catch up again - perhaps you can both bring someone else from your organisation to expand connections further

• Share any helpful insights you learned with your executive or team

• Share who you met in case your executive can leverage the new connection (you'd be surprised how many EAs have helped win business or open doors for their leaders)

Prep in advance

• Practice mindset work to prepare you for feeling uncomfortable

• Remember most people are kind - if you feel nervous, share that

• Know what you want to get out of the event and keep it in mind throughout.

• Get the nerves in hand on the day with controlled, conscious breathing

• Know however you're feeling, others will be too. You're in this together

• Applaud yourself for getting out of your comfort zone - it's a big deal

The honest truth.

Some networking events feel like a fizzer.  The success really depends on the intentions and the energy the attendees put in to create genuine connections. 

We don't always find someone we connect with. 

Sometimes we leave feeling like it was a waste of makeup or Uber fare.

That's how I feel sometimes too.

Then I remember I've met some of the best people I know attending an event where I didn't know a soul before I arrived.  Some of the biggest achievements in my career have come from the connections I have made outside of work. That's what keeps me motivated to do it even if it feels hard. 

Last advice.

Be realistic about the fact that you won't find 'your people' at every single event. 

Be self-compassionate if you feel overwhelmed or anxious. Most people feel this way too.

The most important thing is showing up and giving it a red hot go. 

And it gets easier every time.

I hope these quick tips have helped you feel like you can approach networking with a little less anxiety, and understand how it can help you to create impact in your career.

If you need more practical support like this you can find it inside the Elite EA Academy or the work I do with full teams. Follow along on LinkedIn and IG for more tips like this.